Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
