I think my vagina is haunted
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
