i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
