You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize