His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
