So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
