Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize