I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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