what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
