they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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