a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
should my penis look like a turkey
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
