Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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