he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i need some magic done to my vagina
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
