Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I think i got beer on your cat.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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