I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
