someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
