how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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