Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
