you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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