planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
