Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
