actually, I'm a sock model
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize