Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
