I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
