a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
