I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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