This girl is more easily done than said...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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