How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
