why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
