I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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