I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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