The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
