So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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