Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize