I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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