I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
