very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
