Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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