I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
