mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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