Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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