Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
