ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I would fuck him just for his dog
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
