it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
What a dumb baby whore.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
