i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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