someone owes me an orgasm
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
