Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
