this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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