i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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