And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
