you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
