Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize