I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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