wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
