It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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