porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
