Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
