they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize