I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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