guys are not supposed to queef...right?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
