11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Can I color on your dick again?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize