Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
