Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The air was thick with penises
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
