brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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