If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just high enough for therapy.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
