Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
