you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
