I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
