This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize