What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
