You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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