This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i would one night stand the shit outta him
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Maybe he injected his testicle?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
