I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
