Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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