We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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