Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
