im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
