Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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