soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
