My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Hippo gnu deer
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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