i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
