Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
