I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize