She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
