he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
