i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize