hotel room ftw
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
