the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
